Roller Coaster in some Jokes

scully Global Moderator Posts: 65 LGBT: Lesbian Relationship Status: Attached	Roller Coaster in some Jokes Mar 31, 2021 17:01:52 GMT rainbow likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by scully on Mar 31, 2021 17:01:52 GMT What do you call any lesbian with 1,000 semiautomatic rifles? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}Militia Etheridge.
	₪ you can only go halfway into the darkest forest; then you are coming out the other side.

aphrodite Administrator Posts: 71 LGBT: Lesbian Relationship Status: Attached	Roller Coaster in some Jokes Apr 1, 2021 8:25:21 GMT madmax likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by aphrodite on Apr 1, 2021 8:25:21 GMT
	☣ muliebrem animum numquam senescit.

mercedes
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Roller Coaster in some Jokes Apr 1, 2021 9:17:44 GMT lemon likes this

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Post by mercedes on Apr 1, 2021 9:17:44 GMT

The things kids say...
Little girl goes to this barber shop with her father. She stands alongside this barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating own snack cake.
This barber tells her: "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She replied enthusiastically; "Oh I know! And Mommy says: 'I'm gonna get boobs too!'".
[giggle]

Last Edit: Apr 15, 2021 9:57:21 GMT by mercedes: smiley added

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars ★

selene Global Moderator Posts: 65 LGBT: Lesbian Relationship Status: Attached	Roller Coaster in some Jokes Apr 1, 2021 9:59:21 GMT tinkerbell likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by selene on Apr 1, 2021 9:59:21 GMT The police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}They charged one and let the other one off.
	☪ love is always creative and fear is always destructive.

qtee Global Moderator Posts: 57 LGBT: Lesbian Relationship Status: Attached	Roller Coaster in some Jokes Apr 1, 2021 11:36:30 GMT buffy likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by qtee on Apr 1, 2021 11:36:30 GMT Why do you feel warm on your birthday? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}Because people keep toasting them!
	♭ ♫ ♪ The reader really has to step up to the plate and read a short story. ♬ ♩

zodiac
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Roller Coaster in some Jokes Apr 1, 2021 12:29:49 GMT lilith likes this

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Post by zodiac on Apr 1, 2021 12:29:49 GMT

MICROSOFT VS GENERAL MOTORS

At a recent computer exposition (COMDEX) Bill Gates of Microsoft reported in comparing the computer industry with the auto industry, stated:
'If General Motors had kept up with the technology like we have in the computer industry, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon!'
In response to Bill's comments, GM issued a press release stating:
'If General Motors had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason, you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive-but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. A single 'General Protection Fault' warning light would replace all the oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights.
7. The airbag life saving system would ask 'are you sure?' before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again, because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the 'Reboot' button to turn the engine off.

♐ I am not afraid, i was born to do this.

guinevere Global Moderator Posts: 49 LGBT: Gayelle Relationship Status: Attached	Roller Coaster in some Jokes Apr 1, 2021 17:57:38 GMT tiny likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by guinevere on Apr 1, 2021 17:57:38 GMT What's the difference between a G-Spot and a bottle of Jack Daniels? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}A guy will actually search for a bottle of Jack Daniels.
	☩ Nothing is unnatural - just untried.

milo Global Moderator Posts: 40 LGBT: Lesbian Relationship Status: Attached	Roller Coaster in some Jokes Apr 1, 2021 18:27:43 GMT raven likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by milo on Apr 1, 2021 18:27:43 GMT How do you catch Chip and Dale? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}Climb up a tree and act like a nut.
	ℳ la varieté plaît.

purple Global Moderator Posts: 45 LGBT: Lesbian Relationship Status: Attached	Roller Coaster in some Jokes Apr 1, 2021 18:54:51 GMT vixen likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by purple on Apr 1, 2021 18:54:51 GMT What is the worst combination in illnesses? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}Alzheimer's and diarrhea. You're running, but can't remember where.
	༺༒༻ Crows everywhere are equally black.

tiffany Global Moderator Posts: 59 LGBT: Lesbian Relationship Status: Attached	Roller Coaster in some Jokes Apr 1, 2021 21:00:30 GMT seven likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by tiffany on Apr 1, 2021 21:00:30 GMT My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
	❦ i was built for the long run, not for the short dash, I guess.

lelanie Global Moderator Posts: 67 LGBT: Lesbian Relationship Status: Attached	Roller Coaster in some Jokes Apr 2, 2021 9:27:58 GMT candy likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by lelanie on Apr 2, 2021 9:27:58 GMT When should you buy a bird? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}When it's going cheep.
	₯㎕ no good movie is too long and no bad movie is short enough.

bean Global Moderator Posts: 59 LGBT: Lesbian Relationship Status: Attached	Roller Coaster in some Jokes Apr 2, 2021 12:04:52 GMT hotgirl likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by bean on Apr 2, 2021 12:04:52 GMT How do you get a nun pregnant? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}Dress her up as an altar boy.
	❂ A friend's eye is a good mirror.

eowyn Global Moderator Posts: 50 LGBT: Lesbian Relationship Status: Attached	Roller Coaster in some Jokes Apr 2, 2021 12:40:13 GMT uillean likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by eowyn on Apr 2, 2021 12:40:13 GMT What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}I have no idea but I wouldn't try milking it.
	ﷲ the palest ink is better than the best memory.

lilly Global Moderator Posts: 60 LGBT: Lesbian Relationship Status: Attached	Roller Coaster in some Jokes Apr 2, 2021 13:06:26 GMT diva likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by lilly on Apr 2, 2021 13:06:26 GMT How do you know if the chef is a clown? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}The food tastes funny.
	ↂ great souls have wills; feeble ones have only wishes.

minx Global Moderator Posts: 79 LGBT: Lesbian Relationship Status: Attached	Roller Coaster in some Jokes Apr 2, 2021 19:50:40 GMT florence likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by minx on Apr 2, 2021 19:50:40 GMT What did the bowling pins do? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}They went on strike.
	✯ every failure is a step to success.